


Can't keep it inside

by KittieHill



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Barebacking, Based on Benedict's Song, Declarations Of Love, Drunken Confessions, Fluff, Humour, Kissing, M/M, Making Love, Pining, Texting, lots of feels, piano playing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 23:27:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3096530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittieHill/pseuds/KittieHill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I discovered a song from August: Osage County where Benedict sings a song and it's just so unbelievably gorgeous that it immediately forced me to write this story about it. </p><p>There is no smut yet, that will happen in time. </p><p>I also throw in some Thick of It (Tuckers discussion of Star Wars has been stolen)</p><p>So much fluff and feels, it's ridiculous. Included the song below for you to hear, there is also a slash video for it which is nice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[Benedict's song with Lyrics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VytuHfY-fVM)

 

John stood outside the crime scene talking to Lestrade who was hurriedly sending officers to collect evidence before the rain washed away anything important. John pulled his collar up from the rain and huffed out a breath of warm air into the freezing sky watching as Sherlock rushed from place to place, checking out things of interest before seemingly becoming bored and moving on

‘Come on John’ Sherlock sighed ‘This is dull. Not even a 4’

‘You need to tell Lestrade what you’ve found. You can’t just leave in the middle of an investigation without a word’ John sighed angrily ‘go and talk to Greg’

Sherlock narrowed his eyes before huffing out angrily and striding to the DI, explaining his findings quickly and stalking back to where John was standing ‘Can we go now?’

* * *

 

Sherlock was still in a foul mood as they reached Baker Street, opening the door he scowled at the fresh marks on the skirting and shouted for Mrs Hudson who immediately exited her flat with a worried expression,

‘Sherlock dear?’ the landlady fussed ‘everything okay?’

‘What did you have delivered?’ Sherlock asked tensely

‘Oh’ Mrs Hudson blushed ‘Just a little something for myself’

‘A Piano’ Sherlock deduced as Mrs Hudson nodded ‘You had saved up and finally bought yourself one, It was delivered today’

‘Its downstairs in the basement flat’ she smiled ‘was a bargain’

‘Dull’ Sherlock spat and took the stairs two at a time before locking himself in his bedroom without a further word to John who apologised to Mrs Hudson and went to put the kettle on.

* * *

 

Nothing more was said of the piano, the soft tinkling sound was only audible from the stairs and neither John nor Sherlock bothered much with the sounds.

John left for work early the next morning slapping a hunched over Sherlock on the back as he left ordering the experimenting detective to eat something to which Sherlock grunted in reply. The doctor worked hard over the next few hours before realising that he hadn’t brought his wallet or lunch, cursing himself he asked Sarah for a longer lunch hour whilst he returned to the flat. Climbing in a taxi he travelled the short distance home to Baker Street,

Mrs Hudson was leaving as he entered, they shared a greeting before going their separate ways with John mounting the stairs and grabbing his food and wallet before walking back down, surprised at the tinkling of the piano keys from 221C,

It could only be Sherlock down there, John was surprised as he had never known that Sherlock played another instrument but he reasoned that it wasn’t _that_ surprising considering the Holmes brothers could pick up a new language in an afternoon, and piano wouldn’t be that difficult.

John momentarily wondered whether he should go down and greet Sherlock, maybe hear him play something but that thought was stopped when he heard the baritone voice whispering through the door. The doctor inched closer, opening the main door slightly to hear the tune better, Sherlock’s voice was perfect as he sang along with his musical tune,

_Well I've never been a man of many words_ __  
And there's nothing I could say that you haven't heard  
But I'll sing you love songs 'till the day I die   
The way I'm feeling   
I can't keep it inside

John’s heart pounded as he listened to the lyrics; they were so sentimental and beautiful. So unlike anything that Sherlock would normally say,

_I'll sing you a sweet serenade whenever you're feeling sad_ __  
And a lullaby each night before you go to bed  
I'll sing to you for the rest of your life   
The way I'm feeling   
I can't keep it inside   
No I can't keep it inside

John wondered who the song was originally by, or who it was meant for. There was a lump in his throat as he swallowed deeply, attempting to calm his heartbeat as he attempted to silently close the door and edge back into the cold London air, and flagging down a taxi on route.

* * *

 

Sherlock laid down his pen and paper on the top of the piano; he was glad that Mrs Hudson had bought the thing as he suddenly remembered how calming playing was. The shrillness of the Violin was beautiful but didn’t have the same relaxing qualities as the piano and he felt soothed by the familiar sensations of playing and composing on its black and white keys. The music had been completed days ago but the lyrics had become trickier as his _stupidly sentimental_ brain attached previously unknown feelings to words. Sherlock sighed resignedly as he imagined Mycroft’s reaction to his stupid song, Mycroft’s motto of _Caring is not an advantage_ ringing around his ears as he imagined Mycroft laughing bitterly at his brother’s predicament,

Sherlock Holmes was in love. Sherlock Holmes was in love with his flatmate and best friend. Sherlock Holmes was in love with his very, very straight flatmate and best friend.

Sherlock bit back a groan and lifted the lyrics to his eyes once more; reading through them was like a spear in the stomach and the detective growled low as he ripped up the pages and let them scatter to the floor like oversized snowflakes.

* * *

 

John returned to the clinic and waved to Sarah who frowned and looked at the time, John had only been gone half an hour and was back earlier than both had thought. Sarah shrugged and left John to eat his lunch in peace before sending through his next patient.

The doctor sat in his spinning chair and opened the Tupperware box which held his thankfully unmolested ( _and unexperimented upon)_ sandwich. Taking a bite John opened his favoured search engine and tried to remember the lyrics which Sherlock had sung, he hadn’t heard them all clearly but he remembered the main part;

_The way I'm feeling_ _  
I can't keep it inside_

John searched through the various websites which gave similar results but found none identical to the one from the flat. John decided it must have been a self-composed song which caused the doctors stomach another pang of feeling as he wondered who Sherlock was thinking about. Sherlock had never been known to be interested in sex or romance, not to John’s observation anyway; The Work always came first and John enjoyed being the closest person in Sherlock’s life, if he was brutally honest he didn’t want anybody else getting between him and his best friend.

_If he was really brutally honest with himself; he didn’t want anybody to come between the two men as his feelings had recently begun to change towards the detective… Confusing feelings had arisen after an all night stakeout which left Sherlock exhausted, collapsing onto John’s lap and promptly falling asleep after 48 hours of no sleep, no food and endless cups of coffee._

John shook the thoughts away and swallowed his food quickly, checking his timetable he winced as he saw Mrs Ivy was next in. Nothing like an infected leg ulcer to stop the brain from thinking sexual thoughts.

* * *

 

‘You came home. Why?’ Sherlock asked as soon as John entered the house,

‘erm… because I live here?’ John asked puzzled, hanging his soaked coat onto the coatrack.

‘No not now, earlier, you came back when you should have been at work. Why?’ Sherlock asked, his eyebrows set in a frown

‘Oh. That. I forgot my lunch’ John shrugged walking to the kitchen to flick on the kettle ‘I was only here 5 minutes’

Sherlock relaxed slightly and nodded; throwing himself down on the sofa in his thinking pose.

‘Everything alright?’ John asked walking towards Sherlock and looking down at the prone man ‘Feeling okay?’

‘Fine’ Sherlock said tartly before standing up and walking into his bedroom ‘goodnight John’

‘But it’s 5.30’ John replied sadly ‘I thought you might want to grab some dinner’

‘Takeaway’ Sherlock replied, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

 

John ordered from their favourite local Indian and sat watching TV until the bell signalled its arrival. The doctor went down to pay whilst Sherlock sloped from his room and sat in his chair staring into the lit fire, the orange and yellow flames dancing seductively.

The two men sat in silence; the only sounds being the crackling of the fire and the TV show which played in the background. The atmosphere was awkward and John didn’t know why;

‘What’s the matter?’ John asked softly,

Sherlock looked up and gazed at John before lowering his eyes ‘Nothing. I’m fine’

John huffed ‘You can lie to other people Sherlock, not to me. I can tell’

‘Oh you can can you?’ Sherlock smirked ‘Go on then, tell me’

‘You’re embarrassed’ John deduced using the techniques he had picked up from Sherlock and Mycroft. He couldn’t pretend to have their skill but he could tell the very basics ‘you don’t know something and you’re afraid to ask incase you’re mocked’

Sherlock’s eyes narrowed and he took another bite of his curry,

‘So, what could make the great detective nervous?’ John continued with a smile ‘It’s not science, or maths, or anything really intelligent. It could be the solar system’

Sherlock hmphed loudly much to John’s amusement and he continued,

‘My guess is its human relations. Feelings. That sort of thing’ John said looking down at his curry which suddenly didn’t look so appetising due to the knotting in his stomach.

Sherlock stiffened his back and looked over John’s shoulder into the kitchen before standing to his full height and walking into the kitchen, throwing his curry into the bin he walked into his room and slammed the door, bolting it from the inside.

John felt terrible; he hadn’t meant to upset Sherlock. He stood nervously and walked to the door. Knocking gently he waited for an answer which didn’t come,

‘Sherlock… I’m sorry’ John sighed ‘I didn’t mean to upset you’

John heard the sounds of Sherlock moving around the room, the soft bangs of drawers being opened and closed before the headboard hit against the back wall as Sherlock lay on the mattress.

‘You can talk to me about anything’ John soothed before turning and walking back into the living room, lying on the sofa he clicked onto a sitcom he had always enjoyed, but the entertainment was lost on him as his mind whirred with confusion and nervous tension.

* * *

 

John retired to bed just after 11, pulling on his t-shirt and clean boxers he climbed into bed and pulled over the duvet, falling into a fitful sleep full of strange dreams where he was running to keep up with Sherlock but the detective was getting further and further away. He woke with a start when he realised he wasn’t alone in his room;

Sherlock sat on the end of the bed in the shadows, his profile illuminated by the streetlamp outside.

‘Sh’lock?’ John mumbled blinking his eyes and reaching for the lamp only to be stopped with a ‘no’ by the voice at the end of his bed.

‘Ok, no light’ John muttered sitting up against the headboard ‘what’s the matter?’

‘John I-‘ Sherlock started, opening and closing his mouth stopping himself from blurting out words ‘How do you tell somebody you’re attracted to them?’

John sighed and rubbed his eyes, looking at his alarm clock he could see it read 4.17am.

‘Well, you just sort of tell them. Let them know you have feelings for them and that you want things to go further’ John said softly, rubbing the back of his neck ‘I’ve never thought about it’

‘And what if this person doesn’t feel the same way? How do you react?’ Sherlock replied nervously

‘Well, it’s a horrible feeling but sometimes people don’t feel the same way. You just have to accept it and move on’ John whispered into the darkness

‘I see’ Sherlock mumbled ‘and what if they do feel the same way? What happens then?’

John groaned and rubbed his eyes, aware that he needed to be up in a little over two hours for a full shift at the clinic ‘Well, then you decide whether you want to date or not. You know, go out for meals or to the cinema, doing things together, learn about what they like, their personalities until you know if you’re compatible for a relationship’

Sherlock thought for a moment and nodded ‘thank you John’ he muttered before leaving John’s bedroom as silently as he arrived. Closing the door behind him and going back to his own bedroom.

_What in the fuck_ John thought as he shuffled back down his bed now fully awake.

* * *

 

Sherlock wasn’t awake when John woke for his shift; the doctor quickly showered and dressed grabbing a banana to eat on the way, he wondered whether he should check up on Sherlock. Looking at the time he realised he needed to leave for work and scribbled a note leaving it by Sherlock’s microscope where he would see it.

_Last night? If you want to talk about it fine, it’s all fine. Give me a text. I’ll be back about 6 – JW_

Grabbing his leftover curry he quickly left for work hailing a cab to take him.

* * *

 

Sherlock hadn’t slept. His brain was overloaded with confusing thoughts and feelings. He heard John getting ready for work, could tell that he was wearing his blue shirt and black jumper. He was wearing the newer shoes which pinched his toes, he had pleasured himself in the shower quickly and silently before grabbing a piece of fruit and leaving to get a cab.

The deductions fell hollow in the silence of his bedroom so Sherlock undressed and climbed under the sheets wondering whether he would be able to sleep in John’s absence. He tossed and turned before giving up and walking into the living room where he laid on the sofa and pulled the blanket from the back of the furniture to cover his body, realising that it smelt of John. Sherlock took a few more deep breaths and fell asleep.

* * *

 

_I’ve just had a patient with maggots in between his toes. It was disgusting. You would have loved it – JW_

_I got a text from Lestrade about a drink tonight, want to come? – JW_

_I thought I saw Johnny Depp outside the window but it turned out to be a woman. Shame really. – JW_

_Okay can you please text me back so I don’t immediately think you’re kidnapped please? – JW_

_Don’t make me call Mycroft or come over there – JW_

_Right, that’s it. I’m doing both – JW_

_Why are you texting me a hundred times John? Don’t you have patients to deal with? – SH_

_I worried about you, I thought you might have been so bored you exploded something – JW_

_No. I fell asleep on the sofa. The blanket smelt like you – SH_

_Erm… is that a good thing? Curry isn’t exactly the most fragrant food – JW_

_It just smelt like you. Your smell – SH_

_Oooookay. So are you coming to the pub tonight? – JW_

_No – SH_

John put down his mobile and sighed, there hadn’t been a text from Lestrade but he didn’t want to sound desperate and needy like his ex-girlfriends when he hadn’t replied. The doctor cursed himself for being so stupid and sighed as he expected another awkward night in with Sherlock.

* * *

 

When John returned home he found Sherlock standing at the window, violin in position but seemingly deep in thought. John greeted him with a hello which snapped Sherlock from his daze; putting his bow to the strings he began a frenzied rhythm,

‘Been composing again?’ John asked from the kitchen turning around in time to see Sherlock wince and miss a note.

‘No. This is Mendelssohn’ Sherlock replied ‘Honestly John’

‘I don’t know these things. The last album I bought was Duran Duran’ John laughed as Sherlock stopped his movements,

‘What’s a Duran Duran?’ Sherlock asked straight faced.

‘A band from the 80s, did songs like Rio and Girls on Film?’ John said astounded ‘Don’t tell me you don’t know who they are?!’

Sherlock shrugged and put his violin back into its case and settled into his chair

‘You know every variation of tobacco products but you’ve never heard of Duran Duran’ John shook his head ‘You amaze me’

‘hmm’ Sherlock grunted non-committedly ‘Would you like to go out for dinner John?’

John continued making his cup of tea without looking up at his flatmate ‘Where were you thinking?’

‘Angelos?’ Sherlock suggested watching John nod in agreement

* * *

 

The men arrived at Angelos and greeted the man kindly, being given a table further back so not to be bothered by the autograph hunters which trailed the detectives around the city. Neither men protested when Angelo brought over the lit candle which gave off an ambient glow,

They ordered their meals and sat drinking their wine, feeling tipsy before the food had even arrived. The men giggled and playfully ribbed one another, enjoying each other’s company without feeling any tension from the previous early morning wake up call.

‘John, what is your favourite film?’ Sherlock asked seriously,

‘Erm… never thought about it really. Probably James Bond series or Star Wars’ he admitted pouring another glass of delicious red wine ‘what about you?’

‘I don’t have one’ Sherlock replied with a shrug ‘pointless to watch films when there are other things to be doing’

‘We’re going to have a movie night soon, with popcorn and films and we’re going to work our way through the classics. Scarface, Godfather, Star Wars, Alien’ John listed ‘You’ll like them’

Sherlock scoffed and took another deep gulp of wine, ‘what about music, favourite musician?’

John narrowed his eyes wondering why the sudden interest in his tastes ‘David Bowie or The Beatles. Yours?’

‘Chopin’ Sherlock shrugged ‘perfection itself’

Angelo returned with their food and set it down bidding them bon appetite before leaving the men to their meals; both tucked in eagerly as they silently feasted. Once the meals were over John rubbed his stomach and groaned with satisfaction watching with curiosity as Sherlock’s ears tinged pink.

‘Did you learn to play the piano because of Chopin?’ John asked without thinking, watching Sherlock’s eyes grow wide before narrowing again.

‘How do you know I play?’ Sherlock asked

‘Heard you the other day when I came home to get my lunch. You were singing’ John smiled ‘You sounded great’

‘Don’t be ridiculous John’ Sherlock spat, his spine suddenly straight and his eyes panicked

‘You did’ John insisted taking another sip of drink ‘The song was brilliant. Did you write it yourself?’

Sherlock reached for his wallet and threw down some notes before standing without another word and striding out of the restaurant leaving John confused and blinking.

* * *

 

_Sherlock,_

_I’m not sure what’s going on with us, with you, but whatever it is please know that I’m here to help. Anything I can do please tell me. You are my very best friend and I don’t ever want to make you feel uncomfortable, I’m sorry if I spoke out of turn last night. You have never been ashamed of your compositions before so I assumed that you wouldn’t be offended. Forgive me._

_Please talk to me,_

_JW_

* * *

Sherlock read the note and sighed, his head was pounding from the two bottles of wine they had polished off at the restaurant and the lack of sleep which had only made the ache worsen. John had heard his singing and complimented him on the lyrics; sighing Sherlock pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled shakily before penning his own reply.

_John,_

_You have nothing to be forgiven for, I have been distracted by strange and unknown feelings for the previous few months and I fear I have taken out my distress on you. I don’t mean it, your friendship is the most important thing hence why I could never divulge my secrets. I apologise that I left the restaurant so abruptly, It was rude of me._

_Thank you for the kind words regarding the composition, I would not like to discuss it further if at all possible._

_SH_

* * *

 

The men continued their note writing, finding it easier to communicate their feelings via paper which was quickly burnt in the open fire leaving no trace of awkward notes. Their relationship had survived and after another brief case which was quickly closed ( _embezzlement, simple, committed by the daughter of the business owner)_ the men returned to Baker Street with bags of microwavable popcorn and the entire Star Wars franchise.

‘This is illogical!’ Sherlock shouted at the TV screen ‘It’s also scientifically impossible! The energy alone it would take to build something like the Death Star would be enormous’

John sighed happily and giggled ‘It’s not supposed to be logical, it’s supposed to be entertaining’

‘and those things? The tinfoil man and the peddlebin? The planet of the little bears? What is their point?’ Sherlock snapped his fingers pointing to the fluffy creatures on screen,

‘They’re just characters Sherlock’ John laughed, ‘I think they’re cute’

‘They’re ridiculous’ Sherlock huffed ‘You’ll be telling me the big hairy yeti thing is cute next’

John shook his head and picked up his beer taking a deep gulp and feeling himself relax into the alcoholic glow ‘I always had a man crush on Han Solo’

‘A man crush?’ Sherlock asked suddenly interested, his eyes fixed on John

‘Yeh you know, a man who you find attractive who you would possibly enjoy a night of passion with?, surely you have one of your own?’ John asked, his face blushing at revealing his most personal secret fantasy.

‘Well… No’ Sherlock scowled ‘I just had regular attachments to men due to my orientation’

John’s stomach flipped slightly as his brain caught up, Sherlock was admitting his sexual preference. He needed to listen carefully ‘So, you’re gay then?’

‘Obviously’ Sherlock scoffed ‘I practically told you the first night’

‘No. You told me that girlfriends weren’t your area and that you were married to your work’ John insisted ‘I assumed you were Asexual’

Sherlock lifted an eyebrow in surprise and glanced at John’s facial expressions, deducing him as best he could in his drunken state ‘No. Not asexual’

‘But you’ve never brought anyone back to the flat’ John continued nervously

‘Common courtesy’ Sherlock lied ‘I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable in your own home, plus, it’s been a long, long time since I have been…. Intimate’

Sherlock’s eyes lowered to the floor and his face burned, he hadn’t intended to reveal so much information. He tried to focus on the film and change the subject ‘This one here, who is he?’

John didn’t even look at the TV as he stared at his flatmate ‘How long is a long, long time?’

Sherlock bit his bottom lip and looked up at John before back at the floor ‘Years’

‘How many?’ John pushed slightly,

‘Over 10’ Sherlock admitted,

‘Jesus’ John gasped almost choking on the sip of beer he had taken ‘Don’t you miss it?’

Sherlock narrowed his eyes and shook his head ‘Transport’ he gestured to his body ‘and the emotional things take up too much time and energy’

The two men settled back onto the sofa, taking handfuls of the popcorn as the movie continued. Neither man spoke between sipping their drinks ( _John drinking beer whilst Sherlock sipped expensive whisky)_ , but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable either.

The flatmates became intoxicated in the warmth of the flat; the alcohol going down nicely as they relaxed until both realised they were really rather drunk. Sherlock attempted to stand to visit the toilet and swayed back and forth as he gripped the arm of the sofa giggling childishly,

‘Jawn, I feel drunk’

‘hmmm’ John replied non committedly

‘Need a wee’ Sherlock giggled and stumbled to the bathroom, relieving himself and returning with his flies still open due to the fiddly clasp on the top which had become impossible for his drunken hands to deal with.

‘Sh’lock?’ John mumbled from the sofa ‘would you sing that song?’

‘What song?’ Sherlock asked confused,

‘The _Cant keep it inside_ song’ John smiled ‘It was lovely’

Sherlock stood still, his body and mind frozen solid with terror as he looked at John ‘No’

‘Why?’ John asked

‘Because. No’ Sherlock stammered, suddenly feeling the urge to flee to his bedroom once more,

‘Sherlock’ John mumbled, shakily getting to his feet ‘What’s wrong with me hearing the song?. You’ve freaked out three times now and I don’t understand why’

‘OF COURSE YOU DON’T!’ Sherlock shouted angrily, his hands gesturing wildly ‘YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE ITS ABOUT YOU! IT’S ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT YOU’

‘Me?’ John asked, swallowing audibly

‘yes you John. Why do you think I asked for your advice on courting? And then invited you out for a meal whilst talking to you about boring subjects like films and music? _That’s what the websites told me to do!’_ Sherlock paused and exhaled shakily ‘I can’t concentrate, my mind is full and confused, it’s like it’s falling away like wet sand when I try to focus on something and it’s so frustrating’

‘Sherlock’ John soothed reaching his hand out to touch Sherlock’s shoulder ‘Shhhh it’s okay’

‘It’s not okay John!’ Sherlock seethed, his face bright red and his eyes wild ‘I have ruined everything, again, you’ll leave and I’ll be alone and I can’t be alone John, I can’t. Not again. I can’t be without you again’ Sherlock’s eyes began to fill with tears ‘You don’t understand what happened when you weren’t there’

John pulled Sherlock to his chest, the position was awkward with Sherlock being much larger but once John pulled them onto the floor he could position Sherlock easier, his head resting over John’s thudding heartbeat ‘I’m not going to leave you. You won’t be alone. Not ever’

Sherlock burst into wild sobs, the film playing in the background forgotten as John held Sherlock tightly and rocked him back and forth in his arms.

‘D-Do you want to hear it?’ Sherlock asked softly, nestled in the soft fabric of John’s jumper

‘Only if you want me too’ John replied, his hand stroking Sherlock’s arm gently ‘I don’t want to upset you’

‘We can’t play piano now, its 3am and apparently that would be _a bit not good’_ Sherlock smiled ‘but I don’t mind without it’

John nodded and looked down at the nest of dark curls beneath his chin as Sherlock inhaled shakily and began to sing,

_Well I've never been a man of many words_ _  
And there's nothing I could say that you haven't heard_

Sherlock paused and looked up at John with a blush before moving his eyes back down to his fingers who had involuntarily began playing the keys of the piano against John’s thigh,

__  
But I'll sing you love songs 'till the day I die  
The way I'm feeling   
I can't keep it inside

John stroked Sherlock’s hair softly, each word seemed like a dagger to his heart as he listened to Sherlock spill his emotions freely,

_I'll sing you a sweet serenade whenever you're feeling sad_ __  
And a lullaby each night before you go to bed  
I'll sing to you for the rest of your life   
  


John took Sherlock’s hand in his own, entwining their fingers together tightly,

_The way I'm feeling_ __  
I can't keep it inside  
No I can't keep it inside

Sherlock silenced himself and exhaled in a puff of nervousness as he squeezed John’s fingers with his own.

‘Let me take you to bed’ John whispered into Sherlock’s curls ‘Please’

‘Yes John’ Sherlock agreed, his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he allowed himself to be pulled to his feet and walked the few feet to his bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the promised smut! 
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think!

John closed the door behind them and pressed Sherlock’s trembling body against the wood, his eyes lingered over Sherlock’s own before he lowered them to his lips and back up, seductively taking in every movement the detective made,

‘Say yes’ John whispered, his breath caressing Sherlock’s lips.

‘Yes John, Yes’ Sherlock groaned his legs feeling like jelly against John’s own sturdy thighs which supported him.

‘Tell me you’re mine’ John snarled, his lips pressing a kiss to Sherlock’s sharp jawbone

‘Always’ Sherlock whispered ‘Forever, only yours’

John smiled, lust and love washing over his face as he stared at Sherlock standing above him, his face flushed and his breathing ragged. John put both hands onto Sherlock’s cheeks, looking deep into the cloudy grey eyes as he pressed his lips against Sherlock’s own, feeling the instant spark between them.

The kiss was slow, passionate and loving as the two men learnt the others preferred style. Sherlock opened his lips and allowed his tongue to be drawn into John’s mouth, sucking on John’s bottom lip as he whined and wrapped his own arms around John’s neck, pulling the doctor closer.

‘God’ John whispered as he pulled away, allowing his forehead to rest against Sherlock’s ‘You’re amazing’

Sherlock smiled embarrassed at John’s sweet words ‘then take me to bed’

John looked up and smiled as he took Sherlock’s hand and moved him from his place against the door, allowing them more space to undress. The couple undressed one another a garment at a time, slowly teasing one another with the methodical striptease until both stood panting and naked.

‘My god’ John whispered ‘You’re like a Greek statue’

Sherlock lifted an eyebrow with a coy smile and shook his head ‘I’m really not’

John shushed him with a deep, lingering kiss as the pair sat onto the bed, Sherlock lying down first with his head against the pillow whilst John positioned himself over the warm skin of Sherlock’s thighs, their cocks momentarily rubbing together causing an explosion of sensation.

‘Gah’ John spat ‘No more of that or I’ll finish immediately’

‘I want you to cum inside me’ Sherlock blushed furiously ‘I want to feel it’

John gripped the base of his cock tightly and gasped ‘Jesus Sherlock’

Kissing along Sherlock’s cheek and jawline, John began to press kisses along the creamy skin of Sherlock’s neck and throat, down to his collarbone and chest where he spent a few moments sucking purple bruises into the pale flesh, marking Sherlock as his own. Sherlock groaned and rocked his body up, looking desperately for friction against his cock and finding none,

‘J-John’ Sherlock groaned, pulling John in for another deep and passionate kiss ‘I want us to make love, I want you to catalogue every inch of me like I intend to do to you… but not tonight. I can’t hold on much longer, I need you’

John nodded in understanding and loved into the space made by Sherlock’s thighs parting, his hand wrapping itself around Sherlock’s heavy prick, spreading the precum over the head and down the shaft ‘do you have lube?’ John asked carefully watching Sherlock nod and open his bedside cabinet, fishing out the tube and handing it to John,

John quickly poured the gel over his fingers; he warmed it quickly by rubbing his fingers together before reaching for the furled knot of Sherlock’s entrance. He knew this how to do this part intimately thanks to the hundreds of prostate examinations he had done as a doctor, but this was different, this was Sherlock and it felt more meaningful than anything John had ever experienced in his life. Bracing himself, John slowly circled his finger around Sherlock’s hole and pressed in until his first knuckle was being gripped by the tightness, Sherlock groaned and clamped down unknowingly on the invading digit whilst John moved his other hand to gently slide the skin up and down on Sherlock’s cock, allowing the detective to exhale shakily and relax enough for John to slip his finger in further.

Sherlock startled and yelped the first time John ran his finger over the small bundle of nerves on the inside. The forgotten sensations frightening him momentarily until he opened his eyes and saw the absolute devotion on John’s face, Sherlock relaxed immediately, allowing John to open him up swiftly and efficiently.

John worked quickly but ensured that Sherlock was completely relaxed and comfortable to take his thicker than average cock, he pressed another finger inside followed by another until Sherlock was filled with three of John’s large fingers, scissoring and opening him up. Sherlock moaned deeply, his head moving side to side on the pillow as John rhythmically finger fucked him whilst stroking the massive hardness between Sherlock’s legs which was dripping precum down the skin into a puddle on his tight stomach.

‘You sure?’ John asked a final time, stroking over Sherlock’s tip a final time before stilling all movement.

‘Yes John. Please’ Sherlock whimpered, his hips desperately attempting to push John’s fingers back into the wonderful place where his prostate was located.

John moved himself closer to Sherlock, removing his fingers and placing his tip at Sherlock’s hole. He positioned his chest against Sherlock’s own; their mouth’s now the perfect distance for kissing as he slowly and gently pushed inside, stilling himself to allow Sherlock to adjust before continuing.

‘ _unnnnnnnnh’_ Sherlock moaned, his eyes closing tightly with a mixture of pleasure and pain,

‘God, Am I hurting you? I’ll stop’ John panicked, attempting to pull himself out of Sherlock only to be stopped by the detective wrapping his long legs around John’s arse and holding him in place,

‘S-Stay’ Sherlock whimpered ‘Just a moment. It’s been a long time’

John nodded and focused on kissing Sherlock breathless, their lips and tongues moving together in a perfect dance as though they had practiced for years rather than less than an hour. Sherlock rolled his hips and moaned into John’s mouth as the doctor inched deeper into him, the tip pressing against his prostate and causing another burst of precum to drip between their stomachs.

‘Fuck, Sherlock, so tight’ John mumbled ‘So perfect, you amazing, fantastic bloody man’

Sherlock huffed out a laugh before catching John’s lips again, their hips moving together to create a suitable motion which promptly had them both moaning and gasping against one another. John wrapped his arms under Sherlock’s shoulders and buried his fingers into the detective’s curls, his lips resting against Sherlock’s ear,

‘You’re so beautiful, so perfect, you’re mine. I can’t believe you’re mine but god I love you Sherlock. Always have, always will. I adore you’

Sherlock keened at the words, realising that he was on the edge of his orgasm too late to stop or warn John. He arched his back and began to cum, his insides fluttering around John’s cock as he exploded ropes of white cum between their bodies, coating their sweaty skin with his load.

‘Fuck Sherlock, Fuck’ John growled deeply, pulling Sherlock in for another kiss he shakily thrust once, twice more and he too was coming with a grunt of Sherlock’s name. Sherlock felt the wave of warmth spreading through his insides as John painted him with his release, giving a few more tentative thrusts before collapsing onto Sherlock heavily, their chest’s heaving with ragged breaths.

The pair stayed silent for a moment; enjoying the sensations of their orgasm afterglow spreading through their bodies and clearing their mind. Sherlock began to wince at the soreness of his behind causing John to pull out slowly and rolling onto the cool side of the bed, his hands grabbing for Sherlock and pulling him closer.

Sherlock allowed himself to be manhandled, glad that John hadn’t changed his mind after the lust had disappeared. He curled into John’s side, his head resting on the older man’s thrumming heartbeat as John pressed small chaste kisses to the top of his crown of curls,

‘That was amazing’ John whispered ‘You’re amazing’

‘You don’t have to praise me all the time’ Sherlock smiled rolling his eyes,

‘You love it’ John laughed

‘I love you’ Sherlock admitted, blushing deeply ‘but I’m not good at this emotional stuff’

‘Neither am i. Let’s just agree that neither of us will be alone ever again?’ John whispered into the dark curls,

‘Agreed’ Sherlock smiled

* * *

 

An hour later John awoke to a strange sensation; Sherlock was kissing his neck and stroking his hair

‘Sh’lock?’ John asked tiredly ‘y’doing?’

‘Horny’ Sherlock whispered ‘Want you’

John looked down at the angelic face beneath him before realising they still smelt of ejaculate and sweat. His nose wrinkled as he imagined the discomfort in cleaning themselves off after round two,

‘Lets get in the shower first’ John winked,

Sherlock was immediately up and out of the door, the shower running and the mad genius returning with an exasperated ‘Come on John!’ before the doctor could even rub the sleep from his eyes.

‘Bloody hell’ John smiled before climbing from the bed and joining his lover in the shower.                 


End file.
